Fun toy - BUT it's just a toy.

I found this link (forgot how) - a birthday calculator. Hey its fun even though there is a lot of horseradish in it - which I will gladly point out.

Your date of conception was on or about 14 May 1953 which was a Thursday. Impossible, my dad worked nights and didn't speak to anyone until saturday when he woke up. Unless Mr. what's-his-name down the street visited my mom.
You were born on a Thursday under the astrological sign Aquarius.
Your fortune cookie reads: It doesn't matter. Who is without a flaw?
Not the last one I read. It read in fact "You love Chinese Food" (no shit Sherlock, it actually said that.)
The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2434777.5. I have a DECIMAL in my date of birth? I couldn't even be born on an integer day? Goes to show why I can never make up my mind.
The golden number for 1954 is 17.
The epact number for 1954 is 25.
The year 1954 was not a leap year. Well, even "I" knew THAT
Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/3/1954 and ending 1/23/1955.
You were born in the Chinese year of the horse.
Your Native American Zodiac sign is Otter; Yes I'll buy that. I like to swim on my back while I wash my food. That's me.
Your plant is Fern. Disagree. Fern was a friend of mine and he was no plant lemme tell Ya!
You were born in the Egyptian month of Parmuthy, (See you learn something. This word doesn't even come up in Wikipedia) the fourth month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).
Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 1 AdarI 5714. Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 2 AdarI 5714. In February, in the province of Québec, the sun shines about half an hour. So I was probably born after sun down. Now what happens if I was born before the sun rose? Does that mean I was born that yesterday? Jewish dates are so fxxx up!
The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.17.0.4.13 which is12 baktun 17 katun 0 tun 4 uinal 13 kin - I'll have to remember that when I visit Mexico. It might become handy.
The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Thursday, 30 Jumadiyu'l-Avval 1373 (1373-5-30). Can someone tell me why we have calendars based on religion? OK I guess we had to start somewhere, but if I was Jewish, Muslim or Catholic, I wouldn't have a clue when my birthday was.
The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 18 April 1954. I'll have to take your word for it, I was only 2 1/2 months old.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 2 March 1954. THAT, suffice it to say, is not the REAL New Orleans Mardi Gras. It is another mumbo jumbo religion date.

Now the violent part begins...
As of 7/15/2009 2:17:02 PM EDTYou are 55 years old.
You are 665 months old.
You are 2,893 weeks old.
OK enough of that, this list actually continues the torture to the amount of SECONDS you've been alive.