In preparation for coming to the Vancouver olympics, believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
I thought I'd add my OWN answers, labelled My_Own_answer (OK couldn't think of a better one)
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
My_Own_answer: That's because we only have 5 TV channels in Canada - coast to coast - and we don't want to attract tourists.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
My_Own_answer: Yes, if you hang around Inuktituk (North West Territories), Poste de la Baleine (Québec), FlinFlon (Manitoba) or anywhere close to the Artic circle.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
My_Own_answer: Swedes really do have a lot of stamina. I also say "Yes you can". Suggest you leave Vancouver in late October with cross country skis so that you get to the eastern tip of Québec late June - you might have snow all the way. Also, don't try to get to Newfoundland by foot. The river doesn't freeze over there.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? (Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
My_Own_answer: ??? What the fuck kind of question is THAT? "Run around the bushes". NO you can only do this in Kenebunkport, Maine (about 2 hours away south of the canadian border) where the Bushes have their residence. Keep an eye out for secret service people disguised as pizza delivery folks - some peolpe still have it out for the Bushes.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax ? (England )
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.
My_Own_answer: We also have them in Inuktituk, Poste de la Baleine, FlinFlon. For a list of ATMs in those "other" cities, try "The Internet" - we also have THAT in Canada.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? (USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
My_Own_answer: Hippo racing takes place every two weeks in all major cities, right after the Weight Watcher meetings. Most entertaining to see the ladies run to the donut shop. Betting is "cash only" - look for me (I always wear an orange hat with flipdown ear covers).
Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? (USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
My_Own_answer: Other hint, in addition to above. If you see a bear walk by and it's white, you're pretty close to the north. Stop walking, take a rest. Let the bear approach you - your suffering is almost over.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? (England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
My_Own_answer: In case you're wondering, we have cutlery in most restaurants. Others invite you to eat with your fingers...like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
My_Own_answer: Most "Boy's choirs" are closely guarded by groups called "Parish Priests". I disagree with other answer - please DO NOT come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany )
A: No, we don't stink.
My_Own_answer: Yes. The most pungent one is called "Oktoberfest".
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
My_Own_answer: We don't need it. We are mostly a peace loving country and we live to a very old age. Also, I agree with the other answer.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
My_Own_answer: Smaller as in "less than" or as in "shorter than"? Most of our females are shorter than most of our males. Exceptions: Midget throwing clubs - we have those in Vancouver I'm told - look for them. If you're looking for areas where there are less females than males (coming from Italy I can only guess why you would want to know this), please be advised that Canadian girls are, for the most part, not impressed by macho Italian guys. They go for lumberjacks wearing checkered shirts and orange hats with ear flaps.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
My_Own_answer: Yes, when the tourists go back home. We also have a 4th of July except we don't do anything special with it.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
My_Own_answer: I guess this is like me asking if there are only men wearing bavarian costumes in Germany. What? My wife tells me that indeed that men only wear bavarian costumes in Germany - well I'll be damned - didn't know this did ya!
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, beating in the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
My_Own_answer: I disagree with "the other answer". We call them Horny Horses - found on most farms. You keep them away from you by spraying yourself with mare-in-heat urine. (Mares are lady horses - we have those in Canada too)
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
My_Own_answer: You can speak all you want, we just won't answer. Holds true for most languages anyway. We just wait for tourists to go away. We're a peace loving country and too many tourists make us impatient.
Fier de collaborer à la "Out Campaign" - Proud participant in the "Out Campaign" - Go take a look
Showing posts with label Opinions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Opinions. Show all posts
2010/02/19
2010/02/07
Taxes taxes taxes
At first I thought this was funny....
Then I realized the awful truth of it.
Be sure to read all the way to the end!
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.
Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts
Anyway!
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.
Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.
When he's gone,
Do not relax,
It’s time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Airline surcharge tax
Airline Fuel Tax
Airport Maintenance Tax
Building Permit Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Death Tax
Dog License Tax
Driving Permit Tax
Environmental Tax (Fee)
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment (UI)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Gasoline Tax (too much per litre)
Gross Receipts Tax
Health Tax
Hunting License Tax
Hydro Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest Tax
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Mortgage Tax
Personal Income Tax
Property Tax
Poverty Tax
Prescription Drug Tax
Provincial Income and sales tax
Real Estate Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Retail Sales Tax
Service Charge Tax
School Tax
Telephone Federal Tax
Telephone Federal, Provincial and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Water Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
--- and in 2010 the HST
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, Canada was one of the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had a large middle class, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, Canada was one of the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had a large middle class, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What the flock happened?
Can you spell 'politicians?'
Can you spell 'politicians?'
2009/11/30
Crossing Canada's border
From what I understand...
If you cross the North Korean border illegally, you get up to 12 years hard labor
If you cross the Iranian border, you are detained indefinitely
If you cross the Afghan border, you get shot (by Afghans or Americans)
If you cross the Saudi Arabia border, you will be jailed
If you cross the Chinese border, you will be jailed and may never be heard from again
If you cross the Venezuelan border, you will be branded a spy and thrown in jail
If you cross the Cuban border, you will be arrested and either deported immediately or thrown in jail
BUT
If you cross the Canadian border illegally , you get:
OK call me right wing.
If you cross the North Korean border illegally, you get up to 12 years hard labor
If you cross the Iranian border, you are detained indefinitely
If you cross the Afghan border, you get shot (by Afghans or Americans)
If you cross the Saudi Arabia border, you will be jailed
If you cross the Chinese border, you will be jailed and may never be heard from again
If you cross the Venezuelan border, you will be branded a spy and thrown in jail
If you cross the Cuban border, you will be arrested and either deported immediately or thrown in jail
BUT
If you cross the Canadian border illegally , you get:
- a job
- a driver's license (after a few weeks)
- social insurance card
- free health care
- food assistance program
- free education
- subsidized housing
- government subsidized home acquisition loan
OK call me right wing.
2009/11/12
This defies imagination!
In an article in "Philadelphia Business Today", it is reported that the catholic diocese filed for bankruptcy just hours before eight clergy sex-abuse trials were set to begin.
It is worth the detour to read the full article but here's what makes me really sick, and I quote the article.
"In an open letter to the diocese's 230,000 parishioners, Bishop W. Francis Malooly called bankruptcy a "painful decision" that he had hoped to avoid. However, he wrote, it would ensure that funds will be available for all victims, not just the first who go to trial."
It is really too bad that there is no hell, as there is no heaven. I wish those religious people, the archbishop most of all would rot in hell. Shame on the catholic church. SHAME ON YOU!
It is worth the detour to read the full article but here's what makes me really sick, and I quote the article.
"In an open letter to the diocese's 230,000 parishioners, Bishop W. Francis Malooly called bankruptcy a "painful decision" that he had hoped to avoid. However, he wrote, it would ensure that funds will be available for all victims, not just the first who go to trial."
It is really too bad that there is no hell, as there is no heaven. I wish those religious people, the archbishop most of all would rot in hell. Shame on the catholic church. SHAME ON YOU!
2009/11/03
Living - Vivre
Obviously not mine. Something a dear friend sent me. It is so true, thought I'd keep it here for reference. You are all welcome to fav, download, post it on blogs. People should remember to LIVE!
De toute évidence ce n'est pas une photo que j'ai prise mais bien quelque chose qu'un ami m'a envoyé. C'est tellement vrai que j'ai simplement voulu la mettre ici pour la partager avec vous. SVP regardez là, mettez la dans vos favoris, affichez la mais surtout, surtout VIVEZ!
2009/11/02
Only in Canada
In Canada , instead of applying for Old Age Pension, you should rather apply for the Status of Refugee.
It is interesting to know that the federal Government of Canada allows :
A monthly pension of : $1,890.00 to a simple refugee
plus : $ 580.00 in social aid
A grand total of : $2,470.00 monthly
X 12 months
==========
$28,920.00 annual income
By comparison, the Old Age Pension of a senior citizen who has contributed to the development of Our Country during 40 or 50 years, CANNOT receive more than :
$1,012.00 a month in Old Age Pension and Guaranteed Income Supplement
X 12 months
============
$12,144.00 annual income
A difference of : $16,776.00 per year
Perhaps our senior citizens should ask for the Status of Refugees instead of applying for Old Age pension.
May I suggest that the allowance of refugee could be reduced to $1,012.00, and that of our Canadian pensioners (who actually deserve it) may enjoy the money that they have been forced to disburse in income taxes for 40 or 50 years, switches from $1,012.00 to $2,470.00.
Seems this would make more sense to me
It is interesting to know that the federal Government of Canada allows :
A monthly pension of : $1,890.00 to a simple refugee
plus : $ 580.00 in social aid
A grand total of : $2,470.00 monthly
X 12 months
==========
$28,920.00 annual income
By comparison, the Old Age Pension of a senior citizen who has contributed to the development of Our Country during 40 or 50 years, CANNOT receive more than :
$1,012.00 a month in Old Age Pension and Guaranteed Income Supplement
X 12 months
============
$12,144.00 annual income
A difference of : $16,776.00 per year
Perhaps our senior citizens should ask for the Status of Refugees instead of applying for Old Age pension.
May I suggest that the allowance of refugee could be reduced to $1,012.00, and that of our Canadian pensioners (who actually deserve it) may enjoy the money that they have been forced to disburse in income taxes for 40 or 50 years, switches from $1,012.00 to $2,470.00.
Seems this would make more sense to me
2009/10/19
Superstitions
The town of Aurora in Ontario Canada has just voted to allow the removal of the number 4 from addresses because people of Asian origin claim it brings bad luck. Apparently it sounds like "Death". See the UPI article here.
On the other hand, a city officiel of the city of Palmerston North in New Zealand want to remove the ban on number 13. Apparently the ban is in effect to not allow houses to have 13 as their street address. See the UPI article here.
On the other hand, a city officiel of the city of Palmerston North in New Zealand want to remove the ban on number 13. Apparently the ban is in effect to not allow houses to have 13 as their street address. See the UPI article here.
2009/10/16
Just a though
So, a universe indifferent to pain and suffering is bleak, but a god who demonstrates his love with pain and suffering is comforting.
2009/10/12
Gays have a point there
Picked up on the net from a Gay Marriage protesting march. I guess they CAN quote the bible too :-)
2009/09/02
I can hardly believe this!
Reposted from an article on Michael Nugent's blog.
It appears that in Ireland, the Catholic church can sell "mass cards", whereby one can PAY THE CHURCH to say a prayer in one's benefit to get a "get out of purgatory" card and thus get to heaven faster. I would suppose then that the poor can't get into heaven as fast as the rich which, from memory, goes straight against the teaching of Jesus. Once again, God may be all powerful, all knowing and omnipotent..just can't handle a budget it seems.
It is not being challenged to prevent people from selling offers of intercession with the creator of the universe to bereaved and vulnerable people. Instead, it is being challenged to allow a wider number of people to sell such unverifiable claims and to remove this monopoly from the Catholic church's grasp.
Original article from the Irish Times here.
It appears that in Ireland, the Catholic church can sell "mass cards", whereby one can PAY THE CHURCH to say a prayer in one's benefit to get a "get out of purgatory" card and thus get to heaven faster. I would suppose then that the poor can't get into heaven as fast as the rich which, from memory, goes straight against the teaching of Jesus. Once again, God may be all powerful, all knowing and omnipotent..just can't handle a budget it seems.
It is not being challenged to prevent people from selling offers of intercession with the creator of the universe to bereaved and vulnerable people. Instead, it is being challenged to allow a wider number of people to sell such unverifiable claims and to remove this monopoly from the Catholic church's grasp.
Original article from the Irish Times here.
2009/08/15
Catholic church sees "hope" for unbaptized babies.
In this article from the Canadian Broadcasting Corp (CBC), it appears that pope Benedict is looking at changing centuries old roman Catholic LAW that unbaptized babies will never get to heaven and spend ETERNITY (that's a loooooong time folks) in limbo for :
- a sin they did not commit
- by people who did not exist
- to a god nobody's ever seen and who most probably doesn't exist.
Now someone tell me. What happens to the supposed souls of babies who are NOW in limbo (supposedly) and to the religious parents of those babies who have been living a world of torture, anguish and pain 'knowing' their dead unbaptized babies would never meet them in heaven?
Religion is probably the most cruel human practice I know of.
2009/07/15
Fun toy - BUT it's just a toy.
I found this link (forgot how) - a birthday calculator. Hey its fun even though there is a lot of horseradish in it - which I will gladly point out.
Your date of conception was on or about 14 May 1953 which was a Thursday. Impossible, my dad worked nights and didn't speak to anyone until saturday when he woke up. Unless Mr. what's-his-name down the street visited my mom.
You were born on a Thursday under the astrological sign Aquarius.
Your fortune cookie reads: It doesn't matter. Who is without a flaw?
Not the last one I read. It read in fact "You love Chinese Food" (no shit Sherlock, it actually said that.)
The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2434777.5. I have a DECIMAL in my date of birth? I couldn't even be born on an integer day? Goes to show why I can never make up my mind.
The golden number for 1954 is 17.
The epact number for 1954 is 25.
The year 1954 was not a leap year. Well, even "I" knew THAT
Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/3/1954 and ending 1/23/1955.
You were born in the Chinese year of the horse.
Your Native American Zodiac sign is Otter; Yes I'll buy that. I like to swim on my back while I wash my food. That's me.
Your plant is Fern. Disagree. Fern was a friend of mine and he was no plant lemme tell Ya!
You were born in the Egyptian month of Parmuthy, (See you learn something. This word doesn't even come up in Wikipedia) the fourth month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).
Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 1 AdarI 5714. Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 2 AdarI 5714. In February, in the province of Québec, the sun shines about half an hour. So I was probably born after sun down. Now what happens if I was born before the sun rose? Does that mean I was born that yesterday? Jewish dates are so fxxx up!
The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.17.0.4.13 which is12 baktun 17 katun 0 tun 4 uinal 13 kin - I'll have to remember that when I visit Mexico. It might become handy.
The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Thursday, 30 Jumadiyu'l-Avval 1373 (1373-5-30). Can someone tell me why we have calendars based on religion? OK I guess we had to start somewhere, but if I was Jewish, Muslim or Catholic, I wouldn't have a clue when my birthday was.
The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 18 April 1954. I'll have to take your word for it, I was only 2 1/2 months old.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 2 March 1954. THAT, suffice it to say, is not the REAL New Orleans Mardi Gras. It is another mumbo jumbo religion date.
Now the violent part begins...
As of 7/15/2009 2:17:02 PM EDTYou are 55 years old.
You are 665 months old.
You are 2,893 weeks old.
OK enough of that, this list actually continues the torture to the amount of SECONDS you've been alive.
Your date of conception was on or about 14 May 1953 which was a Thursday. Impossible, my dad worked nights and didn't speak to anyone until saturday when he woke up. Unless Mr. what's-his-name down the street visited my mom.
You were born on a Thursday under the astrological sign Aquarius.
Your fortune cookie reads: It doesn't matter. Who is without a flaw?
Not the last one I read. It read in fact "You love Chinese Food" (no shit Sherlock, it actually said that.)
The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2434777.5. I have a DECIMAL in my date of birth? I couldn't even be born on an integer day? Goes to show why I can never make up my mind.
The golden number for 1954 is 17.
The epact number for 1954 is 25.
The year 1954 was not a leap year. Well, even "I" knew THAT
Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/3/1954 and ending 1/23/1955.
You were born in the Chinese year of the horse.
Your Native American Zodiac sign is Otter; Yes I'll buy that. I like to swim on my back while I wash my food. That's me.
Your plant is Fern. Disagree. Fern was a friend of mine and he was no plant lemme tell Ya!
You were born in the Egyptian month of Parmuthy, (See you learn something. This word doesn't even come up in Wikipedia) the fourth month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).
Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 1 AdarI 5714. Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 2 AdarI 5714. In February, in the province of Québec, the sun shines about half an hour. So I was probably born after sun down. Now what happens if I was born before the sun rose? Does that mean I was born that yesterday? Jewish dates are so fxxx up!
The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.17.0.4.13 which is12 baktun 17 katun 0 tun 4 uinal 13 kin - I'll have to remember that when I visit Mexico. It might become handy.
The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Thursday, 30 Jumadiyu'l-Avval 1373 (1373-5-30). Can someone tell me why we have calendars based on religion? OK I guess we had to start somewhere, but if I was Jewish, Muslim or Catholic, I wouldn't have a clue when my birthday was.
The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 18 April 1954. I'll have to take your word for it, I was only 2 1/2 months old.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 2 March 1954. THAT, suffice it to say, is not the REAL New Orleans Mardi Gras. It is another mumbo jumbo religion date.
Now the violent part begins...
As of 7/15/2009 2:17:02 PM EDTYou are 55 years old.
You are 665 months old.
You are 2,893 weeks old.
OK enough of that, this list actually continues the torture to the amount of SECONDS you've been alive.
2009/06/17
Only in America!
Recently, Michelle Obama went to serve food to the homeless at a government funded soup kitchen.
Cost of a bowl of soup at homeless shelter $0 dollars
Having Michelle Obama serve you your soup $0 dollars
A homeless person who is receiving government funded meals taking a picture of the first lady using his $500 Blackberry cell phone... Priceless
And this is what our hard earned money goes to? (Well not MINE I'm Canadian I know but I'm sure we get this shit here as well)
2009/06/11
Gabon wealth meter
I'm told that in Gabon a man's wealth is measured by the number of wives he has or has had. Exactly the opposite of western culture I think.
2009/06/09
Hard to believe - Dur à croire
From a newspaper article this morning. (In French) - Translated by yours truly.
In a public park in Montreal, my wife was playing with our son and decides to rest for a while. She takes out some raspberries and this little girl comes up to them. "Would you like some raspberries?" my wife asks the girl.
The girl’s mother, hassidic jew by her clothing, runs to her yelling "No, no, it's not kosher, it's not kosher!". She takes her little girl back to her park bench and gives her some Doritos.
I suspect that blessed junk food is better than non blessed fruits.
Then you’ll tell me that religion is not ridiculous…
Dans le journal de Montréal ce matin – Chronique de Richard Martineau
L'autre jour, ma femme va au parc avec notre fils. Elle joue quelques minutes avec lui, puis s'arrête pour lui donner des framboises.
Une jeune fille s'approche. «Tu veux des framboises?» lui demande ma femme. La mère de la jeune fille -une Juive hassidique -se lève d'un bond et traverse le parc en criant : «No, no, it's not kosher, it's not kosher!» Puis elle prend sa fille et lui donne... des Doritos.
Morale: mieux vaut de la merde bénie par un rabbin que des fruits frais non bénis.
On me dira ensuite que la religion n'est pas ridicule...
In a public park in Montreal, my wife was playing with our son and decides to rest for a while. She takes out some raspberries and this little girl comes up to them. "Would you like some raspberries?" my wife asks the girl.
The girl’s mother, hassidic jew by her clothing, runs to her yelling "No, no, it's not kosher, it's not kosher!". She takes her little girl back to her park bench and gives her some Doritos.
I suspect that blessed junk food is better than non blessed fruits.
Then you’ll tell me that religion is not ridiculous…
Dans le journal de Montréal ce matin – Chronique de Richard Martineau
L'autre jour, ma femme va au parc avec notre fils. Elle joue quelques minutes avec lui, puis s'arrête pour lui donner des framboises.
Une jeune fille s'approche. «Tu veux des framboises?» lui demande ma femme. La mère de la jeune fille -une Juive hassidique -se lève d'un bond et traverse le parc en criant : «No, no, it's not kosher, it's not kosher!» Puis elle prend sa fille et lui donne... des Doritos.
Morale: mieux vaut de la merde bénie par un rabbin que des fruits frais non bénis.
On me dira ensuite que la religion n'est pas ridicule...
2009/05/12
Our National Anthem - at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics
I am not the original writer of this idea, nor do I claim it to be true word for word or if it should even be attributed to Bruce Allen (A guy from canada's west coast whom some would call "right wing" but whom I call "guy who calls them as he sees them".) But, by and large, I agree with the idea behind the article and I'm thus publishing it.
Thanks for reading.
Jean-Marc
Please read and forward to as many Canadians you can think of – thank you
WE ARE PROUD CANADIANS
Bruce Allen is on the 2010 Vancouver Olympic Committee and new Canadians (specifically Hindi's/Indian's) want him fired for his recent comments outlined below:
"I am sorry, but after hearing they want to sing the National Anthem in Hindi at the 2010 Olympics- enough is enough. Nowhere or at no other time in our Nation's history, did they sing it in Gaelic,Italian, Japanese, Polish, Irish (Celtic), German, Portuguese, Greek, or any other language because of immigration. It was written in English, adapted into French, and should be sung word for word the way it was written."
The news broadcasts even gave the Hindi version translation - which was not even close to our National Anthem. I am not the least bit sorry if this offends ANYONE, this is MY COUNTRY; My Grand Dad served in the military, other family members also served, as well as my wife & I served a combined total of 56 years between us. We made many sacrifices for our country and do not feel we should feel obligated to allow invited people we've welcomed with open arms to influence & change our society to better resemble the one they chose to leave to come here!!! - IF YOU AGREE ABOUT THIS GREAT COUNTRY, SPEAK UP BEFORE ITS TOO LATE-- please pass this along.
I am not against immigration. In fact I believe we need more, my ancestors were immigrants -- just come through like everyone else. Get a sponsor; a place to lay your head; have a job; pay your taxes, live by the Rules AND LEARN THE LANGUAGES as all other immigrants have in the past -- and LONG LIVE CANADA!'
It's time we all get behin Bruce Allen, and scrap this Political Correctness His comments were anything but racist, however, there are far too many overly sensitive 'New Canadians' that are attempting to change everything we hold dear. If you agree ? Pass this along; if you don't agree? Delete it and reap what you sow because of your complacency! |
2009/03/26
Latest scapegoat
Latest scapegoat, originally uploaded by JumpinJack.A text from my cyber-friend Jumping Jack that rings a note with me.
After caving in to demands of sheep breeders (even though sheep never played any major role in stock breeding in Slovenia, which is OTOH proudly boasting about "preserving" its uniquely diverse environment) and approving killing off more than a half of brown bear and wolf population, the Ministry of Environment is now approving more-or-less unlimited hunting of grey crows to please the farmers.
Crows are allegedly responsible for huge losses of crop and (also allegedly) "decimating the population of other birds" (the latter most likely claimed just to hush the environmentalists) - though no major study was actually done about it and in spite of EU directives about protecting all bird species.
Well, crows certainly aren't my favourite birds either - and yes, they are omnivorous and sometimes hunt smaller birds and steal their eggs - but fer cryin' out loud, that's no reason to exterminate them (and destroy the natural balance again in a new way)!
If you want to protect smaller birds, stop destroying their habitats, chopping down old, hollow trees and poisoning them with pesticides and herbicides. Rather start feeding them in winter, provide them with nesting birdhouses and plant a new hedge or a tree in your backyard, instead of those you chopped down to make a parking lot for your new car.
As far as the farmers are concerned - better start worrying about the urban sprawl that turns your farming land into suburbs at alarming rate. Not to mention climate changes (that cattle breeders also contribute quite a lot to). Last year's hail storms destroyed the crop more completely that any birds - even in hitchcockian quantities - could ever do.
Why don't you install those bloody nets - they'll keep out the hail as well as birds. If the crows won't get so much free food, their population will go down by itself and stabilise at a new natural balance.Plus first and foremost - stop growing those genetically modified plants, containing toxins that not only make people, birds and livestock sick and sterile, but also demand that you use herbicides to fight weeds, instead of mowing etc. etc.
Fer goodness sake, start living with the land, instead of fighting it all the time!
.. and I agree with JJ. Small, natural approaches. Feeding birds, protecting animals not "taking charge of them".
We are so arrogant, believing that we control the planet, we control animals and we control everything.
Some days I feel we are simply passers-by and that "the planet" tolerates human kind - and please stop talking about THE PLANET like it was your best friend or some human-like entity.
Do you believe the arrogance? "The planet" has been gently rolling on for MILLIONS OF YEARS and WE think WE can make a difference?
People who want to "save the planet" don't want to do that, they want to save THEIR SKIN. Even more, they want YOU to do something while they navigate on large ships, get MILLIONS OF DOLLARS from governments and generally make life difficult for others. Sure we should be careful, but SAVING THE PLANET??? Come on give me a break will ya?
When "the planet" gets tired, to paraphrase George Carlin, it will simply shake US off like a bunch of flees and integrate the hydro-carbon, plastic and the waste we have left behind into a new, renewed echo-system.
Save the planet.
Sheeesh, the arrogance of human kind is unbelievable.
2009/03/17
I hate Big store shopping
That’s it, I’ve HAD IT! I can’t stand it.
Last week end I was shopping at Costco. This article or those that follow have nothing do do with Costco per se but with too many shoppers in large - warehouse-like stores. This is also true for Walmart, superstores and even some shopping centers.
Hey people... GET OUT OF THE WAY!
I’ve seen everything.
People with carts right in the middle of the isle, people with carts to the left of the isle while they’re shopping in the right part. People standing to the left of the cart talking on the phone IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FRIKIN’ ISLE. Last weekend, I actually saw a woman trying clothes on her little girl in the cart, in the middle of the isle. When I said “Excuse me” she GLARED at me and actually told me to GO AROUND... GO AROUND WHERE?
Last week end I was shopping at Costco. This article or those that follow have nothing do do with Costco per se but with too many shoppers in large - warehouse-like stores. This is also true for Walmart, superstores and even some shopping centers.
Hey people... GET OUT OF THE WAY!
I’ve seen everything.
People with carts right in the middle of the isle, people with carts to the left of the isle while they’re shopping in the right part. People standing to the left of the cart talking on the phone IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FRIKIN’ ISLE. Last weekend, I actually saw a woman trying clothes on her little girl in the cart, in the middle of the isle. When I said “Excuse me” she GLARED at me and actually told me to GO AROUND... GO AROUND WHERE?
I came up with "JM's law of large store shopping" :
'People's intellectual quotient is inversely proportional to the cubic size of the store" In other words, the larger the store, the stupider the shoppers. Hey, if you don't like it, tune out, this is MY blog.
This isn’t the end people. This is the beginning. I’ve got so much to say on this, it will keep me for weeeeeeeks.
Stay tuned kids, I’ll be baaaaaack
This isn’t the end people. This is the beginning. I’ve got so much to say on this, it will keep me for weeeeeeeks.
Stay tuned kids, I’ll be baaaaaack
2009/03/16
Adopting higher standards
I am told this is from a speech given by Bill Cosby
********
They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.
I can't even talk the way these people do
Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.
People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.
$500 sneakers for what?
And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was 2?
Where were you when he was 12?
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol?
And where is the father? Or who is his father?
People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?
Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up?
Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from??
We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .
I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid.
I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don't have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany , Scotland , England , Ireland , or the Netherlands . The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa . So stop, already! ! !
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ..... And all of them are in jail.
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back.
People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.
We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job.
Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.
We cannot blame the white people any longer.'
Way to go Bill (if you REALLY wrote this) and way to go anybody. Sure it is aimed at black people but the message holds true for anyone NOT holding themselves up to higher standards. And there is NOTHING wrong in saying "black people" anymore than saying"white people".
********
They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.
I can't even talk the way these people do
Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.
People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.
$500 sneakers for what?
And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was 2?
Where were you when he was 12?
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol?
And where is the father? Or who is his father?
People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?
Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up?
Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from??
We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .
I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid.
I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don't have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany , Scotland , England , Ireland , or the Netherlands . The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa . So stop, already! ! !
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ..... And all of them are in jail.
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back.
People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.
We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job.
Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.
We cannot blame the white people any longer.'
Way to go Bill (if you REALLY wrote this) and way to go anybody. Sure it is aimed at black people but the message holds true for anyone NOT holding themselves up to higher standards. And there is NOTHING wrong in saying "black people" anymore than saying"white people".
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